Think: Tragic Events

(sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

-Psalm 73:26

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

-Isaiah 41:10

Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. 

-Psalm 82:3-4

I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble and suffering, but have courage--I have conquered the world. 

-John 16:33

The waves of death surrounded me; the floods of destruction swept over me. The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death itself stared me in the face. But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I called to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears. 

-2 Samuel 22:5-7

Below's Garth Brooks and "The Dance." His performance was meant for a different memorial service, but I think it fits recent events.

Reasons Blood-Sucking Vampires Don't Exist

(source)

In honor of the final Twilight movie coming out on DVD two weekends ago, I made a list to make fun (yes, the Assessor and I did watch it and liked it, but we can make fun). Enjoy!

Here are the top 10 reasons why vampire can't be real:

1) No deaths by blood draining, from two holes in the neck, ever happen.

When was the last time you heard on the news that someone died or was seriously injured after almost being bled to death by a neck biting (two holes)?

(source)

2) Dead cells don't function.

How can you possibly think that vampire muscles work when all of the cells in their body are dead? Dead cells don't metabolize and cells that don't metabolize don't function. (source)

(source)

3) They'd be easy to spot.

They're pale, murdering, night dwellers with pointy teeth and no pulse. Just saying.

(source)

4) Unless you're a plant, you poop.

Well, I should qualify that all creatures expel waste. (source) I don't remember ever reading about a vampire going to the bathroom for #2 or #1 for that matter.

(source)

5) Unless you're a plant, you sleep.

If you want to see me acting like a crazy person, Just take away my nighty-nights. And most scientist think sleep is a requirement for all creatures. (source) When was the last time you met someone who doesn't sleep at all?

(source)

6) They'd be bored to death.

Can you imagine living for hundreds of years. How many new flavors of ice cream would you live for? How would you get your kicks?

(source)

7) It doesn't add up.

"The laws of physics and math debunk popular myths about ghosts and vampires, according to a paper published by Efthimiou and Sohang Gandhi last year...Efthimiou supposed that the first vampire arrived Jan. 1, 1600, when the human population was 536,870,911. Assuming that the vampire fed once a month and the victim turned into a vampire, there would be two vampires and 536,870,910 humans on Feb. 1. There would be four vampires on March 1 and eight on April 1. If this trend continued, all of the original humans would become vampires within two and a half years and the vampires' food source would disappear." (source)

(source)

8) They're clearly fiction.

Vampires are not listed in the dictionary as real living things.

(source)

9) I haven't met one. 

Enough said.

(source)

10) If they did exist at one time, Buffy killed them.

Bam! She killed 'em good.

(source)

Nailed it!

Laugh: Snot You, It's Snotty Everyone

Why me?!

Just like the stereotypes suggest, I'm a snotty girl. I'm not afraid to say it.

And my snot problems multiply by ten-fold during the winter months.

So cold.

Why?

It's dry and my celia have become sluggish. 

Like this.

Cilia, or the hairs on mucus (aka snot) glands, normally sweep everything to the back of the throat.

Goblet cell = mucus/snot cell.

Okay, but in cold whether they tend to slow down or stop. So in addition to increased amounts of snot produced to combat dry air, it all wants to evacuate the wrong way.

That's right.

However, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer. There are reasons snot is useful.

For instance, it catches dirt and lint so it doesn't go into your lungs.

You can compare and compete with others.

Keeps you full.

Wards off enemies.

Provides a talking point.

And more...

Think: Merry Christmas from all of us!

God bless you! -From the Allergic Husband, Kaiya, Kent, and me.

Safe as Houses

Feels good.

Sorry for the long hiatus. Here’s something new:

It’s 9:00 pm. And we’re ready for a run. As I take my first step onto the pavement in front of our house, I breathe a sigh of contentment, or maybe relief. I start to jog while Kent starts to pull, because heaven forbid the imaginary threats in our neighborhood catch his tail. Or are they my demons? I breathe comfortably from my nose and stare at the pavement in front of me. Not another twisted ankle this year. Uh-uh! We run pass families “safe as houses” behind white-washed doors and brick.

It’s time to pick up the pace. I open my mouth to take in more air left baked from the heat of the day. Dry as a bone. Kent leans his powerhouse shoulders right at the end of our street. He knows the way and goes with gusto. He’s also the most trusting and most fearful dog I’ve ever known, rarely both at the same time.

While his anxiety’s high, I’ve let go for the moment. Let go of high pitched ringing that’s returning to my right ear. Let go of the week-long daily headaches that have attacked me since I’ve stopped the steroid and the muscle cramps that return with the diuretic. Let go of the Meniere’s disease and food intolerance. 

I let go of the inconclusive test results and the four pieces of paper that say I have no allergies. Let go of the doctors who prescribe me unrelated medication to take care of sniffles and inflamed sinuses that I’ve lived with for, well, forever. Let go of Google searches for side effects and recommendations that a so called “doctor” conducts in front of my eyes. Will the medicine hurt our future baby?

I let go of the dental pains, the migraines, the thyroid problems, the digestive issues, the rashes, the shingles, the depression, and the cancer in family and friends. I don’t think about these things. Well, maybe a for a little bit.

Instead, I think mostly about rosemary and how extraordinarily it lives in our front flower bed. It just sits there, day after day, soaking up 104 degrees and full sun. Although I can’t run in those temperatures in full sun, I can watch TV at home in 90 degrees. Gives my little mitochondria a workout. But mainly it’s to save up for those crazy/wonderful/harebrained-idea type purchases that Kevin convinces me to make. You know, the ones that at the moment seem like a waste of money, but later become our next hobby that we can’t put down.

I think about how the moon tonight looks like the one in the old DreamWorks promos. You know the one with the boy who’s sitting on the edge of a waxing crescent, dangling his fishing rod into a pool of water below. That could be our kid, in the mountains, in cooler weather, in a few years.

I think about marathons. I know my neighbors see me run. But for those few seconds of consideration as they drive past me or I run past them, do they feel compelled to exercise just like me? Are they as obsessed with staying healthy as I am? Could we do a “couch to 5K” right here in our neighborhood where people show up? Or am I pushing fitness and wellness too much. My bad. It’s my job.

I think about the sprinklers where Kent is getting a drink (and his sticker-riddled coat soaked). Our water is slowly drying up out here in west Texas. What a luxury this little oasis is! I soak my legs it the water and pat me down before carrying on. Can you believe two blocks away and most of its already evaporated?

I think about fame. I wonder if it’s just a job for the people on American Idol, the Big Bang Theory, and 24, or do they get caught up in the superficial whirlwind of it all. It took me forever to find an interest and even mild talent for clothes and appearance, and I have problems with wanting to buy shoes and clothes I don’t need. They’re so shiny! I can’t imagine what a focus on image would do to a person if thought about 24/7.

I think about Lindsey and our first “true” run together on this very street. Gosh she was fast for no training at all! I wish I had a better mind for numbers, distances, and time. I had to ask Kevin the best route to run a mile with her. Good thing I married the man. :)

And I think about God.

How “fearfully and wonderfully made” we all are! Truly, “Your works are wonderful.” And I pray for the strength to focus on the wonderful more often and respect the fearful.

So, pretty productive run.

Thanks for watching out for me little Kent. You got me home safe as houses.

Photo Update Extravaganza!

Been a bit busy lately, so here's some pictures to get everyone caught up.

Bought the "T-Rex." He's quite handsome and Gwendolin's a fan of her garage-mate.

Fell down on a cross country run. Bruised and skinned both knees, but nothing broken so kept running. Thankfully Kent stopped to asses the situation before plowing along.

Stopped adding this to food because apparently I have Meniere's Disease in both ears.

Inside that normal looking ear is a cochlea that's swelling, causing hearing loss, and of course the ever exciting random episodes of vertigo. Going to a specialist in San Antonio this week.

As usual, the rosemary is out of control. We're drying them to give away. Let us know if you want some.

Saw this with the in-laws. Very exciting 4 X 400 relay!

Planted a garden. Well, we didn't remove all the grass in our garden area. Thought we should start small, so we planted 1 zucchini, 1 cucumber, 2 tomatoes, 1 bell pepper, and 1 cantaloupe. All are doing great, except for the cantaloupe, which hasn't sprouted yet. Yea us!

Air conditioner wasn't cooling when we turned it on for the first time this season (this weekend). But it's all good! Gettin'er fixed up as we speak for no charge.

Still running (obviously because of bruised knee). Won third place in my age category during a local fun run. Not my fastest time, but it'll do. Got a free gallon of grape juice to go with the medal.

I Had a Dream

Van Gogh

So it was the day of the marathon and I started out in a mall. A really huge mall with marble floors, high ceilings, and chandeliers. Gotta be somewhere in Dallas or London even. I'm running and I'm running through the mall. I'm excited because my parents, Kevin, and Lindsey plan to follow me along the course. I've got company on the run too, which is great. But while I'm running they're walking. Don't know who this person is, but it's all good. So I'm running and running.

Then I get to the swimming obstacle part of the course because all marathons come with one swimming obstacle. We're still in the mall. I have a problem, though. I'm wearing my new GPS watch and I'm afraid of completely submerging it during my swim. I start looking around for my family members, but I can't find them. I think, this can't be helped, so I jump into the water. So I'm swimming and swimming in this completely tiled pool which looks like a super-sized water fountain structure right in the middle of a main thoroughfare. In the middle of the swim, I notice man is sitting next to the pool and tinkering with something. I don't think much more about it and I finish the swim.

However, when I look down at my watch, there's a hole where the face of the watch should be. I swim back to the man on the side of the pool and ask him where the rest of my watch is. He says that "if you lose part of your watch during the swim, I'm allowed to pick it up, fix it, and sell it in my shop." I'm freaking out because it's a really expensive watch. So I ask him if I can look for it and find it before him, and he's okay with that. I begin looking for my watch, but I never find it.

I start running again, and I realize that I'm famous or used to be famous. I'm like a former rock star or movie celebrity of some kind and I'm actually on a circuit of speaking engagements while I'm running the marathon. Every once in a while, I make a stop, usually at a university, sign autographs, shake hands, and don't really say much besides "good job everyone" like a politician. I even stop at Abilene Christian University to give a "presentation." By the way, ACU has really tall-back pews instead of normal classroom seating; red upholstery. I kept wondering how students took notes or tests in class.

Time speeds up to where I'm about 6 miles from the finish line. People are passing me left and right and I realize that I'm going pretty slow. I'm not meeting my target time of 5 hours (not sure how I know my time since I'm missing a watch). I believe my slower time is a result of the flood (and not because of my speaking engagements). I'm now running through a flooded street that runs parallel to a small river. I'm just struggling to pick up my feet and make any forward progress. I also realize that my slower speed must be why my family hasn't been able to meet me anywhere on the course. But I'm still running and trying to finish when I notice that I'm approaching a woman in her mid 50s. She's sitting in a lawn chair slightly submerged in water and she's fishing. I had some sort of small-talk conversation with her as I ran by, but continued on my run while she continued to fish. I'm running and I'm running.

Finally I arrive at the finish line where my family was waiting for me. It's a Six Flags parking lot. I apologize profusely for finishing in 7 hours because I told them I would make it in 5. Then I wake up.

The End.

Okra-home-a, Dieting Misconceptions, and a Carb-fixated Nation.

They never say it's easy.

What makes for a good diet? And by "diet," I mean Merriam-Webster's definition:

"Noun: 1. The kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats."

What I consider a "diet" is a long term meal plan. You could either be trying to lose weight, gain weight, maintain weight, not get sick (from food allergies, food sensitivities), train for a marathon, or kill cancer. But this kind of diet is a "habitual," day after day, long-term selection of foods that creates a healthy functioning you.

Probably tried the bacon diet.

Many studies have shown that the best diets share the following common characteristics:

1. Matches your daily activity levels.
2. Encourages a balance between several food groups.
3. Is sustainable over a long period of time.
4. Provides you with life-sustaining/encouraging vitamins and minerals.
5. Satisfies your taste-buds.
6. Is Affordable.

Did you see any quick fixes in that list? No! Do the items on this list look easy? No! It's hard work. If it wasn't, everyone would be as healthy as an ox (minus those with hereditary health problems and those without an exercise regimen). It's hard work that is quite often thwarted by the latest and greatest food fads, and, in my opinion, a nation obsessed with carbohydrates.

One heart attack for table 2.

Let me pick apart #1 on my list. Think about it. When you go to a restaurant, any restaurant, what meals don't have a major carbohydrate like taco shells, bread, chips, french fries, mashed potatoes, and rice? Some salads and water are probably the only items without carbs. That's it.

The American way.

But do we really need it? Carbohydrates are the "go-food" of choice. It gives us the ability to be physical for long periods of time during the day. Farmers, cowboys, extreme athletes, regularly get up early and eat the larges plate of pancakes, biscuits, and whatnot before they go to work, and they need it.

What not to buy.

But if we're working, or studying, or just sitting there watching TV, we don't need much of it! At least the majority of us with average to low metabolisms don't. What I think quite often gets lost, even when trying to adhere to those 6 characteristics of a good diet, is that we not only need to match our activity levels with the amount of food we eat, but also with the kind of food we eat.

Don't go too extreme either.

This is also a very important thing to keep in mind for those of us (specifically me) with wheat and gluten problems. We shouldn't just replace and substitute our carbohydrates, we should question whether we need them at all for every meal we have. That's a large part of why I haven't blogged so much recently. I haven't been baking and making all those gluten-free but carb filled foods. I'm trying to balance a job where I sit for 8 hours with my stocked shelves of Pamela's Bread Mix and Bob's Red Mill's Brownies. Bob and Pamela have not helped me with #1.

Okay, I'm off my soap box. Here's a recipe. :)

Okra-home-a (aka okra at home).

Gluten Free Fried Okra
When you think fried okra...let's be honest...when I think fried okra, I think okra, dipped in some sort of egg and flour batter, and cooked with oil and butter in a pan, served with creamy mashed potatoes and fried chicken.

Stop. Stop right now.

Although some people don't always like the slimy texture of okra in it's more natural state, there are many recipes out there that are tasty and don't call for added carbs/gluten-filled products. In my opinion, the best okra recipes add something slightly sweet (like corn or ham). The okra side dish below is my own creation and requires no oil.

Ingredients
15 oz or 1 lb of frozen okra
1 can of tomatoes, no salt
1 large onion, diced
1 cup frozen sweet corn
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp garlic powder

Directions
In a large sauce/frying pan, cook frozen okra, onion, and corn on medium. The okra should turn from bright kelly green to a more brown or muted green when cooked. Add the tomatoes, salt, and garlic powder and heat for another 2-3 minutes. Serve with chicken, fish, or that Thanksgiving turkey.

Eating Around Normals during the Holidays and Cranberry Relish

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years are the most food-centric holidays on our calendar, and they all happen within about a two month time frame. If you have food allergies or any food digestive issues like me, that means adding food stress to your already full holiday plate (or maybe it's empty like mine above).

To avoid my favorite conversation, where someone looks directly at me and yacks away for about 15 minutes about how "this [insert cheesy wheat filled food] is so tasty. Yum! I love this food. I'd give my life for this food," I've thought about all the food strategies and coping mechanisms that I've used or heard of in the past and evaluated them for their effectiveness. This is my personal opinion of course. Maybe with a little self reflection and a little humor we can get rid of some stress together.

Strategy 1: Leave it All to Chance
Don't make and bring anything that you know is safe to eat to the holiday meal. Don't help the cook prepare food for the meal so that you know all about each ingredient. Don't bring any allergy medicine, pain relievers, tums, pepto-bismol, or a last ditch laxative. Don't even forewarn people about your food issues. Just show up, eat what "you think" is safe, or what other people think is safe, and live with the consequences. Fun!

Grade: F (is there a grade Z?). Yes, maybe you're in a hurry and don't have time to communicate or participate in any of the cooking or maybe you're shy. Oh my goodness! Make time! Join a Toastmasters Club! It's not worth getting sick over. In fact, if I were to try out this strategy, which I thankfully never have, I know I'll end up not only un-happy, but also with a 90% chance of a three-day headache and "potty-trots." If this is my strategy, I personally believe it's my own fault for not having anything to eat and I deserve to watch other people eat cheese and bread while I eat my lonely, no-butter squash (or at least I think it has no butter since I never saw the ingredients with my own eyes). This strategy is also great for making cooks feel bad. No one wants to poison their guests!

Strategy 2: Medicate
Bring the medications with you so that if your run into trouble or you choose to run into trouble, you can maybe salvage part of the holiday.

Grade: D. I used to practice this strategy while pretending that I didn't have any food allergies. Yeah, that worked out swell. So, maybe the headache or digestive issues get smaller with medication, but I'm not myself. I'm either wired from the caffeinated Excedrin Migraine or I have digestive issues that are still pretty bad, but just preferable over those when I'm not medicated. With this strategy, I know I'll probably end up with less food on my plate, some kind of body pain, and, again, an unhappy host/cook.

Strategy 3: Tell People about Your Food Sensitivities
Give your host a list of your food issues and hopefully they'll come up with some alternatives. Send your holiday host a list by email. Personally hand them a paper with the items you can't have! Give them the general picture and some specifics. I personally like to write things like:

Katherine's Food Allergies:

• cow milk: often an ingredient in cheese, yogurt, ice cream, sausage, salad dressing, canned soup, bread, TV dinners, sandwich meat, and hotdogs. Milk is often identified on labels as whey, lactic acid, and other 'lactic' terms." Substitute with goat milk, soy milk, rice milk, almond milk, and coconut milk. If it's creamy or says cream, use your brain; it probably has milk. [...maybe leave out the last sentence...]

Grade: B-C. Yea! Communication feels good don't it? However, make sure that you can trust your cook. Not everyone is familiar with reading food labels and not everyone has a great memory when it comes to making a 15-year-old traditional family dish (auto-pilot often kicks in). After using just this strategy, you could end up being told,

"I just cooked you a plain chicken. Nothing on it. I just put a little bit of [insert allergen food here] on the pan so it wouldn't stick."

Lovely! I'll just have a little bit of headache later! However a cook's good intentions, if they're not familiar with cooking for alternative diets, then they might need a little more help then just a list of no-nos. But then again, the main cook for your holiday meal could be a pro (I'm thankful to have many in my family) and you'll have no problems whatsoever. Also, don't write them a novel! If it's over a page of information (which I've seen before) it's too much information. Give them the highlights and show them your bullet-point skills.

Strategy 4: Bring Food
Hit the main food groups that you know will keep you happy and your gut satisfied. Maybe bring a dish with some protein, then a carb, and maybe a desert. Most cooks tend to make a variety of veggies for Thanksgiving, and more than likely one of them will be safe to eat, even if it's just the salad.

Grade: C. You know you'll be able to eat the items you cook. Whahoo! But that means a lot of cooking for you, limiting the foods you can eat, potentially alienating the family cook because you've brought redundant dishes, and, again, making the cook feel bad because you didn't tell them about your problem before hand. But hey! You're not going to end up sick.Yea. . . .

Strategy 5: Help the Cook
Watch them like a hawk and ask if they could use different ingredients real time. 

Grade: C. You're cook will probably not be prepared with alternative ingredients if you just show up and start making suggestions. Plus, they'll be that awkward conversation about your diet the day of a family get-together. I'm not a huge fan of making my diet the sole topic of conversation (I don't mind talking about it, but I don't want to wine or focus too much on what I can't have). I just want to eat and talk similar to most normals.

Strategy 6: Combo Pack of Strategies 2-5
Tell your family cook about your food issues, help your cook fix the meal, and bring food. Also, if your reactions are bad, you might still want to bring some medication as backup.

Grade: A. Yes! Yes! Yes! This is my strategy of choice. It's better to be over prepared for family get-togethers in my opinion. However, I have to keep in mind that every food situation will not require all of the best strategies and sometimes they will. Strategy 6 is a balancing act based on time, place, and the people involved. I must say, it's always nice when I don't have to bring anything to a meal because I know the cook is really informed. Not required or necessary, but nice. That's my favorite type of "eating out." :) This is also a good strategy even if you don't have any food problems, but are on a diet to lose weight. The less things you leave to chance, the smaller your chances of eating something you shouldn't.

Cranberry Relish
If you're thinking about bringing something to your family Thanksgiving meal next week, you might try something like the recipe below. It's a traditional side dish, but it can also operate as a desert if the need arises. For the next blog posting, I'll probably be sharing versatile and simple holiday recipes just like this one.

Ingredients
2-3 oranges, peeled and separated
1/2 cup sugar
1 bag of rinsed cranberries

Directions
Rinse your cranberries in a colander and throw away any squishy berries. Blend up of the ingredients in a food processor. Try processing the oranges first then adding the other ingredients so as to avoid hang-ups in your mixer. To make the recipe a little healthier, try adding more oranges and less sugar.

Sack of Potatoes and Hot Carob

It's in the cards.

If the love/hate relationship most runners have isn't enough, preparing for the first run in cold weather always comes with a bag of mixed emotions for me.

Nada moo here.

On the one hand, my gut is telling me to make a cup of hot carob and coconut milk with just a touch of honey and cinnamon, curl up on my recliner with a comfy blanket, and read the Harry Potter series for the 4th or 5th time while I wait for Kevin to get home. What a perfect way to wind down after 8 hours under florescent lights and a marathon in front of a computer screen!

I hear you.

Instead, I'm rummaging through stored winter running clothes, squishing my atypical running legs into a pair of dry fit tights and shorts, tugging on my high neck and long sleeve top, fighting off goosebumps because we've had the heat off in the house all day, and wondering what pocket my favorite blue and black striped headband/ear warming machine got stuffed into...6 months ago.

Fun.

Instead, I'm peaking out our back door, checking to see if, yes indeed, Kent the mild mannered boarder collie is muddy because he lives in a semi-grassless wasteland where he's found out how fun it is to dig a hole in the mud as a result of our lack of grass, and now he must be carried through the house so as not to make a mess on our living room carpet.

Good to eat. Difficult to hold.

Instead, I'm picking up said 45 pound Kent who turns into a limp and awkward blob not much different than a sack of potatoes, and I'm rushing to the front door only to realize that I haven't opened or even unlocked the front door and must do so now while attempting to hold Kent one handed...unsuccessfully.

Some of this was on me.

But then I have to laugh because, as Kent slips through my left arm (partially because he's heavy, partially because we're now both muddy, and partially because I'm giggling) and slowly melts to the floor as I attack our deadbolt, I have a feeling that this first winter run will be fun and fast. This run, like most cold weather runs, be over before it even begins.

Why not.

Once upon a time Kevin ran something like a 12-13 minute 2 mile with Kent. That's close to his best high school time. When I asked him "how many cars did you pass" (Kent's a car chaser), he replied,

"I don't remember much of what happened."

Well, I don't remember much of what happened. I know we made it back in 23:25. You can see my running log to the right. We did have a few short stops so that I could keep Kent from lunging into oncoming traffic (remember: Kent = car chaser). However, I do distinctly remember being pulled through the middle of a puddle with Kent at some point and I also remember saying out loud to no one in particular, "...run through a puddle? We don't care!" Other than that, not much else to report.

What a great way to start the fall/winter season of running! I got my hot drink later that evening and I wore my mud splattered outfit with pride for Kevin to see when he got home. Oh, and I watch the Pentatonix for like the hundredth time in the last couple of weeks.

Hot Carob Drink

Ingredients

• 1-1/12 cups of coconut milk (from the refrigerated section; soy, almond, or goat milk also just as tasty)
• 1-2 heaping teaspoons of ground carob powder (coco powder just as good, but not for me after about 5 pm)
• 1-2 teaspoons of honey
• sprinkle of cinnamon

Directions
Heat milk first in microwave for 1 1/2 minutes on high. Stir in rest of the ingredients. (Hint: You might try some other spices in the drink like pumpkin spices, nutmeg, ginger, etc, but don't try adding pure mint extract unless your want to taste mint for about 2 years after drinking. I've tried it and I had to pour the rest of the drink down the drain. I hardly ever waste food. You know it was bad.)