Cook: Superhero Cooking Oils Series, Sunflower Oil

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Before you go all Wolverine on your alternative-ingredient cake or main dish because it's just not working for ya, check out my upcoming blogs. This is the beginning of a series of entries where I provide you with a few tips on all the oils that I use and when I use them. They're not all the same! I will exclude any oils made from cow milk and olives because of my food intolerances.

To make my tips a bit more memorable, I've decided imagine if they were a character in the X-Men franchise (X-Men are awesome). Then I describe similarities between the oils and their characters. That way it sticks in my head too!

My first "study in oil" is about Sunflower oil, and it couldn't come at a better time because they just released the trailer for the upcoming "The Wolverine" movie (this ain't no April Fools, fool!). Enjoy!

Sunflower Seed Oil as Wolverine

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Although they always show Woverine as he eats and drinks anything and everything, I choose to believe that Wolverine's ripped bod maintains a 50-mile radius away from all unhealthy foods. Otherwise, why should I work out? Anyways, sunflower oil is made up of mainly monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats, both of which are great for reducing cholesterol. Monounsaturated fats, specifically, are great for reducing bad cholesterol (LDL) and increasing good cholesterol (HDL). Sunflower oil makes Wolverine healthy!

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Sunflower oil is rich in Omega 6, Vitamins A, D, and E, which is great! But don't loose your memory like Wolverine after the Weapon X surgeries (or after his bullet to the brain like in X-Men Origins: Wolverine)! The American diet has a bit too much Omega 6 (which could lead to post-menopausal breast cancer). Wolverine would like all women to keep their brea...I mean health, so "all things in moderation," right? So remember how much Omega 6 you're eating.

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Just like how Wolverine's adamantium-plated skeleton was manufactured and installed outside the US (and he was born outside the US), the largest producers of sunflower seed oil are in the Ukraine and Russia. They're like cousins! Except for Wolverine got his upgrade in Canada and not Europe.... This oil also likes to be stored stored in cool temperatures away from sunlight to help retain freshness (so as not to go rancid or cranky like Wolverine). A cranky Wolverine is a bad wolverine.

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Wolverine can get shot in the head, dropped from high places, and irradiated. He just keeps coming back. Sunflower seed oil has this ruggedness too! For example, you can use this oil to run diesel engines and deep fry your chicken (although, not literally the same oil is used in both places)! This is all due to the fact that sunflower oil has a high smoke point (440-450 degrees). What a deal!

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But deep down, Wolverine is a softy and has a good at heart. He's in love with Jean Grey, he's bud's with most of the X-Men (Cyclops, not so much), and he chills with Psy evidently (below). Sunflower's light taste and appearance (clear or yellow-amber in color) makes it an excellent oil for any occasion. Also, this oil can help keep foods fresher for longer periods of time and it's fairly inexpensive.

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Never accept changes to your sunflower seed oil (or your Wolverine). Unrefined oil is preferred for it's health benefits even though the smoke point goes up the more manufacturers refine (like say for chips).

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And finally, Wolverine is kind of a party animal (stealing bikes, boxing, making off with your girlfriends), somewhat like sunflower oil. It's versatile and fun! I like to use sunflower oil in frying, baking, and I've made salad dressing with it.

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For more information about sunflower oil, check out Wikipedia, this Web site, or this Web site like I did.

Cook: Purloo

Cook: Gluten-free White Bread Recipe for Bread Machine

Reasons Blood-Sucking Vampires Don't Exist

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In honor of the final Twilight movie coming out on DVD two weekends ago, I made a list to make fun (yes, the Assessor and I did watch it and liked it, but we can make fun). Enjoy!

Here are the top 10 reasons why vampire can't be real:

1) No deaths by blood draining, from two holes in the neck, ever happen.

When was the last time you heard on the news that someone died or was seriously injured after almost being bled to death by a neck biting (two holes)?

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2) Dead cells don't function.

How can you possibly think that vampire muscles work when all of the cells in their body are dead? Dead cells don't metabolize and cells that don't metabolize don't function. (source)

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3) They'd be easy to spot.

They're pale, murdering, night dwellers with pointy teeth and no pulse. Just saying.

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4) Unless you're a plant, you poop.

Well, I should qualify that all creatures expel waste. (source) I don't remember ever reading about a vampire going to the bathroom for #2 or #1 for that matter.

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5) Unless you're a plant, you sleep.

If you want to see me acting like a crazy person, Just take away my nighty-nights. And most scientist think sleep is a requirement for all creatures. (source) When was the last time you met someone who doesn't sleep at all?

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6) They'd be bored to death.

Can you imagine living for hundreds of years. How many new flavors of ice cream would you live for? How would you get your kicks?

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7) It doesn't add up.

"The laws of physics and math debunk popular myths about ghosts and vampires, according to a paper published by Efthimiou and Sohang Gandhi last year...Efthimiou supposed that the first vampire arrived Jan. 1, 1600, when the human population was 536,870,911. Assuming that the vampire fed once a month and the victim turned into a vampire, there would be two vampires and 536,870,910 humans on Feb. 1. There would be four vampires on March 1 and eight on April 1. If this trend continued, all of the original humans would become vampires within two and a half years and the vampires' food source would disappear." (source)

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8) They're clearly fiction.

Vampires are not listed in the dictionary as real living things.

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9) I haven't met one. 

Enough said.

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10) If they did exist at one time, Buffy killed them.

Bam! She killed 'em good.

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Nailed it!

Cook: Gluten-Free Oatmeal Cookies

Read: The Beast of Truth

*****This is a continuation of the Lewis story (you can find the first part here).

Oh wow! Are you, like, filming right now? I love you. I love your camera. I love everyone. Can I lick your face? No, your face, not your hand. Give me your face.

Wait! What did you just say?

Look! Like, I may be sort of bossy. Like, I may enjoy roughing up my buddy Kent (fellow "beast") every now an then. And sometimes I yammer at relatives who visit my yard, don't share toys, and rough up Kent (only I can rough up Kent).

But when I say that I didn't kill Lewis "the mouse," I totally meant it.

Like, did the cats tell you that I killed Lewis? Which one? Was it the all black one who hides in the bushes at the front of the house or the gray one with the really sweet bedside manner and an harsh addiction to Entertainment Tonight?

The gray one? Figures! All I did was eat a ca...anyway...no need to go into specifics. And they have it out for me! I just want what is rightfully mine: attention and obedience. I love everyone, so everyone should love me and give me what I want. And everyone does love me! Except for the cats; they don't like me.

I can't have you thinking that I'm this big brute of a husky, so let me tell you the real deal.

The day I met Lewis, I was laying out in the sun totally getting this awesome tan on my nose. I don't like my nose too pink, and that day it was totally pink. I need a black nose to keep up my husky appearance.

Everybody loves me! Except for the cats. 

Anyway, the hairless ones called Kent and me inside their house. It's really my house, but I humor the hairless ones. I get more treats when I humor them.

I was totally exhausted from sunbathing all day, so after the initial excitement of being given what is rightfully mine, I took a nap. It was so cool and comfy on the carpet. I spun around only one time before laying down. Like, that's how tired I was!

The next thing I knew, I was shoved back outside for no apparent reason. Yeah, like, tell me about it! So rude.

As soon as the hairless ones pushed me out the door, I smelled this wonderful smell. I smelled fur and dirt and poop, but mostly I smelled fur. It wasn't Kent's fur and it wasn't my fur. It was my poop, but it wasn't my fur. Like, the fur was someone elses. I love someone elses! Someone elses are exciting and new! I want to meet everyone! Now!

Everybody loves me! Except for the cats.

And then I spotted movement. Like, at the time, I was thinking that it was another one of those feral cats sneaking our food away and giving us ringworm. But no! It was much smaller. I knew I had to have whatever it was. I had to make a new friend!

So I chased it and I caught it an the hairless ones took it away from me.

It was like, for you hairless ones, being given a chocolate cake, and then throwing it in the trash. I'm still kind of depressed about it.

Can I lick your face? No, well...Lewis was alive the last time I saw him.

How did I know his name? He told me. I was squishing him a bit in my mouth when he introduced himself. He was, like, really friendly. He was also tasty.

Everyone loves me! I told you! Except for the cats.

Did I see a vial? A vial of what? Really? No, no that's not what he was holding. He was just chillaxing in the middle of the yard, getting a nose tan like me. He was holding something, but I really wasn't paying attention. I liked his squishy, furry body. You should ask Kent. He stayed back a little. Such a ninny.

[an aside] Kent! Stop standing like that! You know I hate it when you stand like that!

Boarder collies! Where was I? Are you leaving? Can I lick your face? Oh, okay. Bye! I love you! I love everyone!

Cook: Gluten-Free Fried Plantains

It's not the healthiest recipe, but what a great treat! And it's totally simple. Thanks, Mom, for showing me how way back when.